You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize