yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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