drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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