erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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