I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
