he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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