Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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