No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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