I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
