I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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