Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
