You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
