even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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