you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
