Who wears a wallet chain?!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
