I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
