Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
