I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize