i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
