did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
