i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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