Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
