kristin has been a bad kristin
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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