Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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