He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think my moral compass just broke
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
