I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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