im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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