She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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