All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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