"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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