I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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