You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
