just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
