i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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