I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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