I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
