there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
