he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Pooping to opera.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
