i don't like sucking hair
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
