bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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