Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
