she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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