you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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