I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
