You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
