white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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