Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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