Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
