I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
