i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
