You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
