i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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