so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize