Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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