The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The beer is more important than you right now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
