Please, let me fuck your mom
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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