I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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