he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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