Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
