I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
